Sibling R-E-V-E-L-R-Y is attainable
Yes, Mom and Dad, you too can achieve sibling revelry! I'm not off my rocker, I do mean R-E-V-E-L-R-Y. I know it is not the customary word normally paired with the word sibling, as in Sibling Rivalry. The word I speak of is revelry and is synonymous with "merrymaking".
Merrymaking in Harmony Hollow
Our children have become experts at dramatic, silly, hysterical, un-inhibited revelry. There are many reasons for this expert status, but one is truly obvious. John and I were both music and drama students and even more importantly... 4-H Counselors. For those of you unfamiliar with 4-H Camp, boy did you miss out. But hopefully, you have some other summer camp or church camp experience to draw from.
As 4-H Camp Counselors in Harmony Hollow, which is located in beautiful Front Royal, Virginia, we gained valuable experience that would ultimately make us "funner parents". We learned how to compose silly parodies of familiar tunes to entertain campers. We constructed ridiculous skits where John was the professor and I was Igor, his hump backed banana squashing assistant. And of course we costumed the masses in great thrift store and flea market finds. Once we even constructed a full feathered head-dress for one of our fellow camp counselors and planned an authentic "attack" on the unsuspecting campers. John had asked the campers for a moment of silence to reflect on the sounds of nature. Suddenly, a shooting arrow appeared in the sky and landed in the pond in front of the campfire circle. Indian Chief Mike came barreling down the hill towards the bewildered encircled campers, while chanting a Native American song. Talk about dramatic. It scared the bee-jeebies out of them all, but that was quickly replaced with shouts of "Cool! Did you see that? That's Mike!" With parents like us, how could our kids not be natural revelers!
Teaching Kids to Play
From the time our oldest son, now sixteen, was born, we have "acted" things out. We've both read books to our children in different character voices. We've sung songs almost incessantly, especially the silly ones. We've also spent invaluable "floor time" with our kids, be it dancing to 80s music, playing board games, playing baby-dolls (both of us) or pushing the Scooby Doo Van around chasing Spiderman. Many times over the years have I played the damsel needing rescued by the brave knight while John played a fellow musketeer or Prince Charming to a little girl's Cinderella. We've had a Renaissance style birthday in a tent with real turkey legs for fare. We've had fairy tea parties with fairy wings, magic tricks and mischievous misfit elves reeking havoc.
In the beginning, we created the scenarios, we played along and our children followed. Now that our children are 16, 11, 8, 6, 4, and 3 we rarely are called upon to be the producers of their revelry, most of the time we are now the audience. They now create their own plays, skits, songs and imaginary play stages and adventures. They do this while laughing, giggling, and being thoroughly absorbed in "merry-making". I've noticed too, that when they are immersed in creative imagination, the sibling rivalry ceases and desists.
Creative Play bonds parent to child, child to parent, and sibling to sibling.
These merry adventures are the ones that build their relationships. They have created their own Harmony Hollow. These memories are the ones that will show them how to play with their own children. This merry-making will help them through the times of sibling rivalry that are a part of growing up. Hopefully, when they are adults, they will remember all the fun times they have had together and will feel the bond that ties them to one another. This bond will help each of them respect each other when they disagree about matters as adults. As we all know, even as adults, sibling rivalry can raise its ugly head. Creative play bonds parent to child, child to parent and sibling to sibling.
Mary Kidd Flemming, Family Coach Crossroads Professional Counseling and Family Life Center
Visit us on the web at: www.crossroadsfamilycenter.com
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